I used to be very critical of workshop leaders (I won’t name names, but one of them rhymes with Bony Tobbins) who ‘pump people up’–put them in a very resourced and powerful state, 1 cash the check, and then kick them back out into the world where most deflate after a couple days of ‘real life’.
I never wanted to do that.
I don’t like people messing with my state. So I avoid altering people’s state in my events.
And, I see a lot of coaching clients coming into sessions drained, depleted, and empty from the ‘war’ outside. 2
I noticed that by ‘just jumping in’, their focus and attention often wasn’t sufficient to get their results.
And, I didn’t want to pump them up’ artificially’. (‘Jumping jacks! “Turn that frown upside-down!”‘)
So I decided to go the opposite way.
What does that mean?
People have crappy lives. I mean, let’s be honest…how good is the average American life? Working a crappy job. In dead or no meaningful relationships. Sex is methodical or nonexistent. Children are a burden, stress, and pressure. 3 Commutes are killer. On and on.
And, yet, when they show up for a coach, mentor, course…they are expected to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Happy. Resourced. Powerful.
At least, that’s how it feels.
Because, in most of our families, there was not a lot of space ‘to have a bad day’.
Repression doesn’t change how we really feel. Pumping up (whether with meth or exercise) is just temporary.
So what really helps?
Pumping down is another word for grounding. It means allowing the feelings that have been repressed 4 to be.
This is coming into reality: the here and now.
This is grounding.
So, now that is what I do. Especially for people who are beginning to learn their own psychological and emotional maintenance, (which is all of us!) this is very important.
And what happens then?
People turn red.
It goes away. Then they are present, focused, and have more energy.
No ‘manipulation’ necessary.
How do you do that?
Wellll, that’s magic. But I can demonstrate if you call me.
- Meaning: a state in which it feels easier to spend lots of money ↩
- Sometimes people say: I would have spoken to you/not missed our appointment, but I was having a hard time. Ahem! The time when you aren’t doing well is exactly when you need to be reaching out! ↩
- BTW, how do you think it feels to a child to know this is their emotional impact on their parents? ↩
- Although, not as badly if someone was doing this meditation. ↩
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