Category Archives: Business

The 420 Strategy

Yesterday we talked about Tracy’s situation.

Today, I want to talk about the way forward. Specifically, I want to talk about the strategy for getting ‘the mainstream’ folk on board with the healing we all so desperately need.

This is my story.

I was praying and meditating about how to reach millions with this healing? How are we going to make sacred and healthy sexuality and intimacy as easy and safe to practice and learn as yoga is today?

That night, I had a dream where I was with my dearest friends in a dark cottage. I was sobbing with them about ‘finding my way home’.

I smelled the pungency of pot in the air.

I woke up, it was 4:20 AM.

Since then, I have been seeing 420 everywhere.

I wondered “What has marijuana got to do with healing sexuality?”

I thought of all sorts of possibilities, but none of them made sense. Until I found this magazine in Las Vegas:

It’s a magazine about *medical* pot usage. It appeals to the masses–“help your football players get healthy by using medical marijuana!”. It’s education. It’s support.

I thought about how the FIGHT for sexual freedom is very similar to the battle for the right to use the plants which God has provided.

That battle raged for a looong time until those who wanted legalization found the way to get support and sympathy from the public:

**Appeal to those who want the sick to heal.**

This means: kids with leukemia. Mothers dying of cancer. People suffering and who were not getting relief from hospital painkillers, or where those painkillers had tremendous side effects.

Everyone wants to help cancer sufferers, right?

Everyone cares for those who are sick, right?

And this has become the doorway. First, it was a medical ‘exemption’. Then, full-on legalization.

In Colorado and Washington State, people are not having ‘reefer madness’. Society hasn’t collapsed. Death and carnage do not reign supreme. People see that.

People can be trusted with freedom to use what they need for their bodies.

Soon, marijuana will be legal everywhere.

How does this apply to intimacy and sexuality training?

Who is suffering in our society?

  • The disabled
  • The infirm aged (bedridden and alone)
  • Veterans (22 veterans commit suicide per day, I have read)

And what heals like almost nothing else?

Connection. Touch. Affection.

Premature babies do much better when getting touch. There are studies. There is proof.


Why is cuddling as a business taking America by storm?

Because touch is a basic need.

We need to help people see that:

1. Touch *is* a basic need.

2. Those who do not have the ‘market value’ to get touch will go without it–and will be lonely, and suffer. And maybe even die.

3. There are many people willing to support those who otherwise would not have touch and healing.

4. We need to make touch as a ‘healing modality’ safe and easy to get for those who need it.

That is Phase I.

We need to come out of the shadows and begin educating and supporting people around getting touch in their lives as a first step to healthy sexuality (sex is, after all, another form of touch.)

We will talk about how we and others are doing that and can do it in the new group we are creating just for this purpose.

I personally am not satisfied with helping a few people get some relief and even some healing in the shadows. I want to change the conversation. I need to make this world a place worth living in both for myself and everyone else.

And the shift is already on.

Let me know if this resonates with you.

Tracy Elise vs Nicole Daedone

Tracy Elise, of the Phoenix Goddess Temple, was convicted on all counts of things that would make a Mafia Boss blush.

An Enemy of the State who refused to kiss the Ring of Power, those at the top are determined to make an example of her. She now faces a prison term. We don’t know for how long.

It’s a tragedy for the whole community.

Colleagues say:

“She wasn’t doing anything wrong!”
“She was in the right!”
“Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want!”

I hear you.

I don’t know exactly what happened in the Temple. A number of my friends worked there and have reported various things. And, I am going to assume that Tracy is motivated to heal and support others, as we all are:

She isn’t into sexual healing to make a quick buck.
She wasn’t there to traffic young women into selling their bodies for cash.
She is here to heal and change the world.

So, why the prison sentence? Is the system corrupt?


Is this part of a massive conspiracy against pleasure?

You betcha.

And, could she have done things differently?


A couple quotes come to mind. “Agree with your enemy quickly, because otherwise you are going to get taken to jail.” (paraphrased)

“He was right, dead right, as he sped along. But he’s just as dead as if he were wrong.”

And, finally, “The way of the fool is right in his own eyes.”

There are three people involved in every transaction.

1. You
2. Your client
3. The greater community.

Tracy didn’t seem to understand #3.

Tracy made strategic mistakes, which led to tactical ones. And, ultimately, they led to the situation she is in now.

I admire her bravery. I admire her courage. And, though I have often thought I would die for what I believe, I can’t help but think it isn’t going to help people much if I am stuck in prison, regardless of the rightness of my cause. My scope of influence will be reduced.

If you are reading this, you probably are interested in sexuality, sexual education, and sexual healing.

Either you are practicing. Or you are teaching. Or you know that this needs to happen.

Each of us gets to decide whether we: change to a ‘safer’ career path, end up in jail, eek along with a living, live in fear of arrest, or end up creating and being part of a movement that touches millions of lives.

If you want to change the world in a big way, you must understand the greater community–and that is the one that Tracy seems not to understand.

Whatever you think about Nicole Daedone–One Taste has found a way to adapt to the world it is in, and still create and teach the structures that are healing sexual guilt and shame in the bigger community. And, by the way, it made $6.5 *million* dollars last year in the effort.

So what do we learn from these two examples?

1. It pays to get lots of good advice and support.
2. Our success lies within knowing ourselves, our clients, AND the world in which we are living and operating.

Why do I say this? Part of my mission is helping you fulfill yours–if your mission is around sexuality. We are changing the world, one person at a time. And we are doing it *together*.

One way to do this is to join a small group I am putting together to discuss the deeper strategy of *how* to create the world we want. We are not going to do it alone–none of us. All of our gifts and magic is needed. And the rewards for stepping fully into our light are beyond what we can comprehend.

If you feel called to be a part of this transformation–call me or reply to this mail. We are gathering a group who will change things in a very big way. Wisely. Intelligently. Powerfully.

What do you think? Are you in?

Don’t work in a vacuum

I have a friend who is brilliant at understanding one of society’s key problems.

He published a best-selling book about it and then spent years and a lot of money creating the perfect product to solve this very problem. He’s launching it with the very well-structured program.

And, it will not only not change people’s lives like he wishes, it won’t actually even sell.

I and many colleagues have spent months, sometimes years, devising systems to heal and support others and the planet, and very often, step out and begin marketing with great vigor only to find out:

Nobody cares!

Nobody wants to buy this big program you just created.

Nobody wants to sign up to the coaching program you devised.

Why not?

There can be a couple reasons.

The biggest?

You have not been in communication with your ‘target audience’. In fact, you don’t even know who they are. You haven’t spent time eyeball-to-eyeball asking them questions and digging into their real issues and concerns, nor do you understand the language they use to discuss them.

It’s not your fault, of course. You were not encouraged to understand your compatriots in school. You were told to do things alone and get things done without help (it was called cheating). The others were your competitors. Not sources of solutions for your problems.

This will kill you in real life and entrepreneurship.

If you don’t fix this thinking and ‘join the human race’, you can’t teach or give humanity much of anything.

You have to get in the trenches. Find a problem. Solve it for a few people. Find out that your system works. And then magnify it from there.

And you have to keep trying.

Most savvy marketers succeed with about 2/10 products that they launch. If they do better than that, it’s because they were constantly in contact with their market.

I knew my target market for years before I actually got serious commitment from any of them.

I spent years talking to them, revising my ideas, coming back and offering again. Over and over. Until it ‘clicked’.

And once it clicks, watch out!

(R)evolutionaries: do not design your products and services in a vacuum. Constantly be in communication with your market. Offer your stuff for free to get it really polished. Take your time to develop relationships with the people you want to help.

It’s vulnerable. It’s scary. You will hear things you don’t like. But it’s the way to success–as measured by pretty much every spiritual or ‘secular’ metric that exists.

The State of Sexual Healing in the US: Interview with Eyal

Download the Transcript (PDF)

This was a rather fun interview I did with Eyal from about coaching, the state of sexual healing, mentoring, working hands-on vs hands-off, trust, and lots more.

Find Eyal here.

Some key points (thanks to Eyal for writing these down):

  • Everyone needs a coach.
  • Focus on the results you bring to your clients, not on your title.
  • To get started or to grow your business, learn to speak in front of people in a room or even just on a webinar.
  • Most kinds of coaching can work via skype.
  • Aim to have both local and international clients.
  • Why talented spiritual people suck at business.
  • How Jesus sold stuff
  • The real key to raising your rates is mindset
  • When you’re good at something, sometimes you don’t notice it because it’s easy for you.
  • Why you shouldn’t be accessible to everyone.
  • To succeed, be different, be the black sheep in the room.
  • Know your value, who you are, and who you’re meant to serve.
  • Just about any result that you want to get that you thought you can only do on the [massage] table, you can do without touching. You can do it legally.
  • I don’t think there’s such a thing as a sexual healer or a non-sexual healer. We have so much shame we must separate the two. In the future, they will be more integrated.
  • If you’re free sexually, you can’t be controlled anymore.

There’s also a YouTube version, but the audio isn’t very good.

People Using Erotic Energy in Unusual Healing Ways – Naked therapy – SOOO cool! – Self-explanatory 😉 – Sexy dinner parties – Cuddling for healing – Sexy life coaching – Hugging meditation